Wishing for #3

Have you ever wanted something so bad but just knew that it couldn't be? This is how I feel about having a third child. In my mind I know it isn't logical. We are already stretched thin money-wise, really don't have the space, we are already stressed & Jay doesn't want another child but my heart is aching for just one more.

I keep coming up with ways it will work. One isn't that much more expensive since we cloth diaper & I breastfeed. I still have Jimmy & Bianca's baby stuff. We could add on since the apartment we rent belongs to my Gram.

I just have this empty space in my heart that is crying for just one more baby to love & snuggle. For some reason my family just doesn't feel complete to me. It is like there is someone hiding in my future just waiting to come out in the present. I know that Jay may change his mind in the future but until then I will just feel like there is someone that should be here & isn't.